Today’s Top Five: Rock Paper Scissors Tips | Rock-Paper-Scissors Blog

Today’s Top Five: Rock Paper Scissors Tips

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1) From We Rite Goode, some crucial advice on the Rock Paper Scissors throwdowns happening at California Tortilla locations across the area tomorrow. For example: “Give off false tells. Straight out of poker. Nervously clench and unclench your hand–you’re screaming paper all the way. Then come in with the rock to nail your opponent’s scissors. Ka-blam!” If you win, you get $1 off your burrito. If you lose, public stoning.

2) The Loss Column offers unofficial, non-Vegas odds on the Orioles’ next manager. Joe Girardi, who was once traded for Mike DeJean (!), is at 5-3. If I were betting this, I’d put down a little on Dusty Baker at 20-1 and a lot on the field at 150-1. Hey, you never know.

3) If you enjoy the Wizznutzz, you really ought to check out this from The Wayward Oriole. It’s unclear to me exactly how the sites are related, but they both make me feel kinda funny. TWO’s post-Perlozzo post has some nice mascot vids and a lot of stuff I don’t understand, plus this: “as storm has beset crew inside big old warehouse, wayward O has contented himself with knowing that, as far as mascots go, orioles are nonpareil. and by nonpareil wayward O means ‘good’ — not sprinkles that go on ice cream cone! anyway sprinkles are very ORSULAK-era, whereas in GIBBONs-era we have DIP-n-DOTz.”

4) The Nats reveal that there’s no such person as Nook Logan, and that this was all a Dave Chappelle skit. Tad Cranky, the author, has friends in this Down-With-Nook movement. I really wish the Nook Logan Chronicles would do more than cut and paste newspaper stories; Nook needs an articulate defender about now.

5) While local fans don’t really have anyone to root for in the 32-player “Criminal Invitational Classic” up on Batting Cage Hero, there is some hope. Qyntel Woods is in a different bracket from Mike Vick, “leading to the possibility of a Dogfight Derby in the final four. Clinton Portis has agreed to guest-referee the match should it occur, and all necessary waivers have been approved.”

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